Stages of Grief

1. Denial

I waited all weekend for the letter notifying my impending transfer but it did not arrive as I had hoped on Saturday. I grew more frustrated over my situation because I need the written validation. We went to church and a equinox party afterwards but still burning in the back of my mind was that I that I still am in limbo since I haven't seen the papers I cannot accept that I am being transferred.

2. Anger

I was pretty angry about the whole situation even though I did not receive any verification on Monday during the day. I was tired of the hold up.

I did not really go through the bargaining stage.

3. Depression

I got a fax of the letter Monday night which was open night for parents to see teachers. Mr. Laux handed me the letter I expressed appreciation for giving this to me. I understand that East Tech is not a special school, it was some time in the past with various programs but other schools now have special programs to draw more students and talented students. But Mr. Laux and other administrators go on to try to bring in exciting programs and partnerships to help revive this school that is bereft of its brightest students because of competition with magnet schools with special programs.

It was hard to deny I saw it on paper it said that I had to meet on Wednesday 9/26 at 2pm to discuss placement.

It was even more difficult because I could no longer deny that I am going to be moved. I had to talk to parents of good students and say to them, I had a great time teaching to (student) but I will not be her teacher much longer because I am being transferred.

It was a humiliating experience. I was glad that the parents showed sympathy and even understood as some of the parents have in the past been transferred involuntarily. It still made me feel dis empowered. It was exhausting telling all the parents that I met this.

4. Acceptance

I accepted that I was going to be transferred with this letter, but it was hard finding high school science positions in the transfer list. I knew that I will have a job but I accepted that I will most likely have a choice like this

You can choose between the 2nd circle of hell or the 1st circle of hell its your choice.

Since I have low seniority I expected that all the better schools or programs would have already chosen so I would probably get a job any job and like it. I spent parts of Tuesday talking with other teachers finding out which schools may be the better choice

Today Wednesday Sept 26th I accepted that this would be my final day I even bought donuts for my students as a good bye treat. I had closed up all student work and had already given a test to go over the final topics.

Mrs. Korb tells me during period 3-4 that the meetings today was postponed until Monday I looked at the Plain Dealer and found an article stating the same thing. I'm glad that the city newspaper knows more about my work situation then myself that is wonderfull (dripping with sarcasm)


1. Denial...

Moving on

I received news today.
The good news is I have a job.
The bad news is that it will not be where I am currently working now.

I was first told of this change in situation by my department chair Ms. King, she seemed upset and I was suspecting that something like this was coming. The school had a decline in enrollment this school year so I was suspecting that the probability was high that there world be redeployment of staff elsewhere in the school district. I had a total of about 55 to 60 students total which is on the low end.

Ms. King apologized to me that she had to tell me this news. I was stoic when the news was given to me. I understood that the way in which this school district operated teachers with less seniority would be the first to be moved or laid off. I felt a twinge of irony because this week I finally got around to putting book numbers in the textbooks that I am using with my students.
When I put an indelible mark is when I have to leave.

I walked upstairs to the 1st floor and talked to both my school principal Ms. Wright and Mr. Laux. They confirmed that I was indeed to be elsewhere in this district. In fact all of the departments were hit with transfers. Again I kept my stoic face up. What was the point to show sadness at this point in time. I knew that I still had a job so my most basic concern (having a job) was met.

I walked back towards the C building (where my classroom is) and stopped by several teachers to tell them about the news. They were all very sympathetic and were sad to see young teachers go, some expressed the fact that I could end up at a better school, or worst school, because it is a real crapshoot.

I packed up my papers and my clipboard and locked my door and left for the day it was hard to talk to students in the hallway and try not to show the roiling sea of emotions underneath my genial face. I got into my car and drove out of the school. I was flipping through my phone for some songs to commensurate to. First I listened to Under the Bridge by the Red Hot Chili Peppers, then The Distance by Cake, and last before I arrived home Overkill by Collin Hay, it was nice to belt out to those songs just to vent out some of my sadness.

I was not the only member of the science department that was to be transfered out. Mrs. Korb was teaching the last part of the day I was not sure whether or not she was told of this yet. But from the looks and responses from the other staff I was most likely one of the first to find out. I wonder how she took the news, I wondered who finally tells her. I said to Ms. King that she should tell Mrs. Korb before she goes home today. Instead of having her find out by mail on Saturday, because I'm pretty sure that the principals would not likely have told her this afternoon.

I guess that since I have taught longer than Mrs. Korb, I can make do and go on. But she is a new teacher and very much so, I remember her last year and she has grown much as a teacher and has much more enthusiasm than I can muster up ever. Now not that I do not teach with enthusiasm but overall I am pretty low key. I think she is on the right path and that she will be a great teacher. I just hope that this transfer does not stunt or discourage her development as a teacher. It is not unusual that the "new" teacher would most likely get the most challenging students and can be really stressful. Heck the relocation is stressful especially in a last minute situation that we are in (we need to be moved and start teaching at our new school by next Monday).

It is hard to pinpoint how I feel. I know that there is nothing that could be done to prevent this from happening on the short term. Teachers are moved based on their seniority and Mrs. Korb and I are both on the bottom of the list because we both joined the district this past year. I think I was having good rapport with my students. The thing that sucks is the I will have a new group of students to get to know and my students will have to get to know their new teacher whoever that may be.

It is hard to not dwell about being abandoned and alone because I have never had an involuntary transfer, I like to staying in one place for a while. I will miss my coworkers here and I will miss working with the Robotics Team students and see the development of this years new students joining the team.

Strangers in Paradise

I was checking some things online when I stumbled upon the Strangers in Paradise Website. Its been quite a while since I had picked up a copy of this comic, I think my last issue was issue 53. I was sad to find that Terry Moore published the concluding issue in June. I had know all about this for over a year and with the year that I have had with my parents moving in with me, Ahmie pregnant with Delano, buying a home, and having concluded my first year teaching at East Tech High School. This reminds me a bit of my first year of teaching, in short I was way busy.

Reading comics had been a hobby of mine for many years I started reading translated manga published by VIZ comics, then I started reading Marvel comics titles like the Punisher, and later the X titles. By the time I reached my later high school years I was looking for something more to read I followed the X men and read some manga titles. As interesting as that was I wanted something more, something more real. A title that I started to read was called Negative Burn, an anthology title that show cased comics of diverse talent and story style. I picked up the first issues of Strangers in Paradise in 1993

From the first panels that I have read I loved this book. I looked all over for the previous 3 issues published by Antarctic Press which is a small independent publisher. I eagerly waited the two to three month times between issues. What interested me was not the way it handled provocative issues such as AIDS and homosexuality. But, rather the portraial of the characters Katchoo, Francine, and David. They were realistic characters it was interesting to see their daily life in the comic and learn about their back history. Also I did have quite a resemblance to David the only main male character in the comic.


Truth is the character David resonated with me. For a short time I felt that what ever happens to David in the comic would happen to me in real life. I mean in the early issues each of the characters seems to be desperately trying to become themselves, there was some type of underlying tragedy. Katchoo was haunted by her childhood and the time she spent as a call girl, this was catching up to her as her past friend with whom she had worked with was dying with AIDS. Francine who was in love and was insecure about previous relationships being only physical in nature. She waited for a whole year before she would allow her boyfriend Freddy to sleep with her. Sadly Freddy was a real dog and cheated on Francine which utterly crushed Francine. David did not seem to have much baggage in the early story, which in time will reveal to not be true. David was in love with Katchoo, desperately so. Unfortunately for David, Katchoo was in love with Francine and Francine did not know it.

It did not stop David from pursuing Katchoo. They had a strange deep friendship that could have evolved to something more. This was how I felt in high school. I was always the friend to many girls that I was interested in. Perhaps that was the reason why girls were not interested in me I became their friends and had gotten to know about them before I felt comfortable enough to try asking them out. This was the same in my freshman fall in college also. I asked 3 different girls out and was rejected mostly due to the fact that we had known each other (i guess) too well.

Then in my Spring semester Literature class I met Ahmie, granted I never changed my tactic I always wanted to know and get to be friends with women that I was interested in. (Now this is does not mean that I only get to know women that I am interested in.) I believe that this was also about the same time David and Katchoo was together as a couple.

I never knew when I first met Ahmie that I was going to be with Ahmie for the rest of my life. I have to say that the past eleven years has been quite a ride with highs and lows much like a comic book story.

Unlike my relationship with Ahmie, my relationship with the comic book Strangers in Paradise eventually ended as the story became exceedingly outrageous with the Mafia story line and its repercussions and I found it hard to connect with the characters and how they dealt with everyday life.

Even though I have not picked up an issue in a good 3 years I think I will go back to the beginning and read it all including the ones I have not picked up yet to see how the story goes.

Catch Up

Well as I have posted several weeks ago, Ahmie was in labor and the birth of the baby was imminent. As I have posted before birth of a child is a life event and well ... the baby was not born within 24 hours of that post instead it was more like almost 3 days before the baby was born.

I have reflected on this birth experience that we had at home. We had many people over sunday night: Serena, Clare, Sabrnia, Cindy (Ahmie's Mom) and the person who helped us with the Homebirth. As nice as that was to have so many people present it was hard to have so many people there.

It was also hard to have a sense of intimacy because there were so many people around. Ahmie and I have discussed this and have decided that as nice as it was that so many people showed up at Ahmie's call perhaps it might have been better if there were fewer friends attending at a time but have people rotate and take a shift. This is because, Ahmie felt that she needed to give birth sooner because everyone had an emotional investment with Ahmie and wanted to see the birth. However the side effect of this is that life goes on we don't go into our own pocket universe when a child is in the process of being birthed. Life outside of the birth was seeping in and Ahmie sensed tension this prolonged labor is causing in her friends.

However I cannot express in words the gratitude I feel for all the people who were present for the birth. Even though it was a long and tiring experience it was wonderful to catch my second son in the intimacy of home.



At 7:17am on Wednesday June 27th 2007 Delano Cheuk-Sing Yeung was born. His weight was 7lbs 12oz, 19 inches long. Now Delano's name comes from President Franklin Delano Roosevelt, who is one of Ahmie's favorite Presidents.

I have to say that Delano is a very different he sleeps so much. it seems that Delano is closer to what is a normal activity level for a baby. He will nurse and sleep for 2-4 hours without waking up. This is much different from Liam who would nurse every hour or so and sleep for 45 minutes to a little over an hour.


Liam is adjusting well to having a younger brother. I is incredibly endearing that LIam is so attached to Delano. Liam tries to be helpful and help take care of his younger brother which when directed was helping bring diapers and wipes and other things. When not guided meant trying to pick Delano up or poking at Delano's umbilical stump. The first night Delano was crying and Liam was crying hysterically thinking that it was his fault that Delano was crying.
Liam said to Delano:

Liam broke Jiue Jie(Piglet in Cantonese) tummy.

Ahmie explained to him that Delano is crying because he does not like his diaper being changed. I think we told Liam that he could help comfort the baby by saying Jiue Jie all safe. He still does this when Delano is crying.

Delano's two weeks old today!

Piglet is coming soon.

Ahmie has been having more consistent and closer contractions throughout Sunday. We went to church and I was not with Ahmie during the service because the childcare was loaded with kids and I opted to help out. During the service I checked in on her and she told me that she was having a period of 3-5 minutes between stop and start of contractions, with the contractions lasting for about a minute.
After church we went to Malley's and Ahmie picked up an Ice Cream Sunday. (She promised herself that in early labor she would have a Sunday.) We had called our Midwife and she came and checked on Ahmie and found that she is about 4 cm dilated and thinks that she would likely deliver in the next day or so. While this is all happening I was furiously trying to clean up the blue room.
It seems that Sabrnia (one of Liam's Godparents) is coming up from West Virginia to be here for Piglet's birth. Also Ahmie's mother Cindy will be arranging time to be here also for the birth.

Ahmie thinks that Piglet will come in the next 24 hours.

Is Piglet's arrival imminent?

Ahmie has been feeling more contractions this past week and over the past two days she has been feeling them a little bit differently. She has been noticing contractions since before Summer break started but they were irregular and infrequent, they were a bit more frequent last week and it seems that as this week (week of June 17th). She has been feeling them come with more frequency and this evening she had been noticing that they are between 5-10 minutes apart. Ahmie had a glass of wine this evening to help slow down these contractions.

I wonder if his arrival is imminent because the contractions she had this evening, as she described them "they are inwardly focusing" and she said that she felt the contractions "starting higher up and washing downward towards her backbone and pelvis". Ahmie's due date is July 7th which I think would be really cool. Ahmie is however not disappointed if our baby piglet (because this is the Chinese year of the Boar/Pig) were to be born sooner because she does not like hot weather. She does not look forward to the hot weeks ahead. Suprisingly it has been quite cool the past several days.

We have been cleaning sorting and rearranging the house a bit. So far the living room, office, and kitchen are pretty clean and tidy. Our bedroom needs to have clothes hung up the bathroom needs some attention and the blue room has had much improvement but we still need to vacuum and organize some things in there. Our bedroom is getting there we have our mini cosleeper set up next to Ahmie's side of the bedroom.

Ahmie wanted to give birth at home for Liam's birth but due to several reasons we decided not to give birth at home but instead at a hospital attached birthing center. Most of the hang ups were with me. I did not know for sure how Ahmie would endure labor with Liam. I just was not sure what happens during a birth. I was concerned what if something went wrong. Personally being part of Liam's birth and being there and seeing how Ahmie knew and was very aware of birthing Liam. I was much more comfortable with Ahmie having a home birth with Piglet. I however wanted to have help and assistance to oversee Ahmie's labor. We decided after moving to our new house that we should home birth.

Reasons (in no particular order)
1. We are really close to the hospital. In the back of my mind I do fear some sort of complication but we are like 3 blocks away from Lakewood Hospital.
2. Birth is a life event and rarely a medical event. Since we are in a home that we own and plan on living here for many years to come . I think that it would be great that our children born at home and have a deep connection to the home that they live in.
3. Both of my parents were born at home.
4. I know Ahmie can give birth and I have faith that she will be able to bring Piglet into this world also.

Liam is so wonderful it is hard to imagine life without him. I think he would be a great big brother. We knew that he understood that there was a little baby inside Ahmie and it is just priceless during winter when he would say:

Piglet come out mama's tummy help Liam shovel (snow).

Recently, Liam has been in the habit of pretending to take Piglet from Ahmie's tummy and holding the pretend Piglet in his hand and carefully holding the baby. When we had the mini cosleeper set up he did exactly that and he placed Piglet very gently in the cosleeper and then gave the imaginary Piglet a kiss. It just melts your heart.

We have also decided to start really potty training Liam, he can go most of the day without accidents if we ask him to go every 30 to 45 minutes it seems that he can hold it while he naps so things are good.

But Friday Liam developed strange red splotches all over his body and on his face. We were concerned and we took him to an Urgent Care and the doctor said that he may have a systemic allergy attack, meaning he ate something he was allergic to. He seems alright but he looks horrible with the splotches all over his face. Obviously this puts a hamper on the potty training and complicates preparing for Piglet's arrival. He mostly seems to be itchy. We give him Oatmeal baths and lotion him up and give him Benedryl to try to treat this. Tho the doctor at the urgent care gave a prescription for Zyrtec I wanted to try to give him something over the counter before giving him a prescription. He is still splotchy but seems to be diminishing, still itchy but lotion seems to take care of that along with the oatmeal baths.

Its getting late and I should make sure I rest up. Because I know I won't pretty soon.

I know it's been 10 months, anyway My 30th birthday and Scrapblog

I know it has been about 10 months since I last wrote on this blog. Indeed much life has occurred during the interim I started teaching at a new school, most likely I will be back teaching there again this year. Ahmie became pregnant again and is due soon. Along with my parents we bought a double house in Lakewood. I think other than the year I started teaching in Virginia this has got to be the most stressful and action packed year in my life.

April was my 30 birthday and it went okay. I have to say that I probably should have invited my friends to the party earlier but having been so busy with work and the Robotics Team and home life I just did not muster the energy to call anyone any sooner. I invited my co workers and ex-coworkers and friends. I had hoped my ex-coworker friends Josh and Clark would have made it. However the party went well anyway. More the problem was the foot plus of snow that we had the week before the party and I had wanted to have a party in the back yard. But the yard was muddy from all the melted snow.

Check out the scrapblog below for pictures of the party and my brother visiting for my birthday.




Marvin called me Saturday morning from the airport asking for me to text him his ticket confirmation number because he had forgotten it. He arrived at about 11 am and we went out to eat and afterwards we went to church for an evening of boardgames. We spent Sunday afternoon together after church. Dropped Marvin off at the Airport Sunday afternoon around 4pm and had to pick him up because of heavy rains canceled his flight and the next flight would not be until early in the morning. It was great because Liam was heartbroken when we had to drop Marvin at the Airport and Liam was so surprised when Uncle Booger... ahem I mean Uncle Marvin came back. This meant I had to wake up extra early to drop him off at the airport so he can be harassed by the TSA and not miss his flight.

I think I will most definitely post some more soon.