Stages of Grief

1. Denial

I waited all weekend for the letter notifying my impending transfer but it did not arrive as I had hoped on Saturday. I grew more frustrated over my situation because I need the written validation. We went to church and a equinox party afterwards but still burning in the back of my mind was that I that I still am in limbo since I haven't seen the papers I cannot accept that I am being transferred.

2. Anger

I was pretty angry about the whole situation even though I did not receive any verification on Monday during the day. I was tired of the hold up.

I did not really go through the bargaining stage.

3. Depression

I got a fax of the letter Monday night which was open night for parents to see teachers. Mr. Laux handed me the letter I expressed appreciation for giving this to me. I understand that East Tech is not a special school, it was some time in the past with various programs but other schools now have special programs to draw more students and talented students. But Mr. Laux and other administrators go on to try to bring in exciting programs and partnerships to help revive this school that is bereft of its brightest students because of competition with magnet schools with special programs.

It was hard to deny I saw it on paper it said that I had to meet on Wednesday 9/26 at 2pm to discuss placement.

It was even more difficult because I could no longer deny that I am going to be moved. I had to talk to parents of good students and say to them, I had a great time teaching to (student) but I will not be her teacher much longer because I am being transferred.

It was a humiliating experience. I was glad that the parents showed sympathy and even understood as some of the parents have in the past been transferred involuntarily. It still made me feel dis empowered. It was exhausting telling all the parents that I met this.

4. Acceptance

I accepted that I was going to be transferred with this letter, but it was hard finding high school science positions in the transfer list. I knew that I will have a job but I accepted that I will most likely have a choice like this

You can choose between the 2nd circle of hell or the 1st circle of hell its your choice.

Since I have low seniority I expected that all the better schools or programs would have already chosen so I would probably get a job any job and like it. I spent parts of Tuesday talking with other teachers finding out which schools may be the better choice

Today Wednesday Sept 26th I accepted that this would be my final day I even bought donuts for my students as a good bye treat. I had closed up all student work and had already given a test to go over the final topics.

Mrs. Korb tells me during period 3-4 that the meetings today was postponed until Monday I looked at the Plain Dealer and found an article stating the same thing. I'm glad that the city newspaper knows more about my work situation then myself that is wonderfull (dripping with sarcasm)


1. Denial...

Moving on

I received news today.
The good news is I have a job.
The bad news is that it will not be where I am currently working now.

I was first told of this change in situation by my department chair Ms. King, she seemed upset and I was suspecting that something like this was coming. The school had a decline in enrollment this school year so I was suspecting that the probability was high that there world be redeployment of staff elsewhere in the school district. I had a total of about 55 to 60 students total which is on the low end.

Ms. King apologized to me that she had to tell me this news. I was stoic when the news was given to me. I understood that the way in which this school district operated teachers with less seniority would be the first to be moved or laid off. I felt a twinge of irony because this week I finally got around to putting book numbers in the textbooks that I am using with my students.
When I put an indelible mark is when I have to leave.

I walked upstairs to the 1st floor and talked to both my school principal Ms. Wright and Mr. Laux. They confirmed that I was indeed to be elsewhere in this district. In fact all of the departments were hit with transfers. Again I kept my stoic face up. What was the point to show sadness at this point in time. I knew that I still had a job so my most basic concern (having a job) was met.

I walked back towards the C building (where my classroom is) and stopped by several teachers to tell them about the news. They were all very sympathetic and were sad to see young teachers go, some expressed the fact that I could end up at a better school, or worst school, because it is a real crapshoot.

I packed up my papers and my clipboard and locked my door and left for the day it was hard to talk to students in the hallway and try not to show the roiling sea of emotions underneath my genial face. I got into my car and drove out of the school. I was flipping through my phone for some songs to commensurate to. First I listened to Under the Bridge by the Red Hot Chili Peppers, then The Distance by Cake, and last before I arrived home Overkill by Collin Hay, it was nice to belt out to those songs just to vent out some of my sadness.

I was not the only member of the science department that was to be transfered out. Mrs. Korb was teaching the last part of the day I was not sure whether or not she was told of this yet. But from the looks and responses from the other staff I was most likely one of the first to find out. I wonder how she took the news, I wondered who finally tells her. I said to Ms. King that she should tell Mrs. Korb before she goes home today. Instead of having her find out by mail on Saturday, because I'm pretty sure that the principals would not likely have told her this afternoon.

I guess that since I have taught longer than Mrs. Korb, I can make do and go on. But she is a new teacher and very much so, I remember her last year and she has grown much as a teacher and has much more enthusiasm than I can muster up ever. Now not that I do not teach with enthusiasm but overall I am pretty low key. I think she is on the right path and that she will be a great teacher. I just hope that this transfer does not stunt or discourage her development as a teacher. It is not unusual that the "new" teacher would most likely get the most challenging students and can be really stressful. Heck the relocation is stressful especially in a last minute situation that we are in (we need to be moved and start teaching at our new school by next Monday).

It is hard to pinpoint how I feel. I know that there is nothing that could be done to prevent this from happening on the short term. Teachers are moved based on their seniority and Mrs. Korb and I are both on the bottom of the list because we both joined the district this past year. I think I was having good rapport with my students. The thing that sucks is the I will have a new group of students to get to know and my students will have to get to know their new teacher whoever that may be.

It is hard to not dwell about being abandoned and alone because I have never had an involuntary transfer, I like to staying in one place for a while. I will miss my coworkers here and I will miss working with the Robotics Team students and see the development of this years new students joining the team.