Heres to you Uncle Joe

In diapers -- report cards
In spoke wheels -- in speeding tickets
In contracts -- dollars
In funerals -- in births
In -- five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes
How do you figure
A last year on earth?
-"Seasons Of Love B" by Jonathan Larson

My uncle Joseph died last Wednesday. He had turned eighty years old this past July, we had just moved to Ohio and Liam was just too young to go to New York to see him. I learned about his passing last Friday.

Other than my uncle Peter, uncle Joseph was one of the few uncles that I can actually say I had regularly talked with and got to know a little. My father was 9th of 10 children so my father's side of the family is huge. He lived around Toronto Canada with my aunt.

Sadly we never brought Liam to see Uncle Joseph when he was in New York for his eightieth birthday. When I heard from my mom that he had passed. The news hit me like a stack of bricks. This really reminded me of the mortality of my parents. I know that my grandmother lived to her eighties so I know that most of my family is fairly long lived but I hope my father will live long enough to see Liam and his siblings grow up and maybe marry and have children, so my dad who is now 65 will have to live to at least his 90's. I hope that he will be around that long.

To mourn my uncle's passing I have for every night until when he will be buried (November 29) I pour wine, burn inscents, and leave food as an offering for my uncle. I say a prayer for his passing. I do all this for my own peace of mind, mourning rituals to me is for the living, it gives people a time and a way to deal with the death that wait for us all. It gives us a way to transform the pain and loss into something else something less scary. Since I can't be there for his funeral I can at least do this to mourn him.

"To everything
(Turn, turn, turn)
There is a season
(Turn, turn, turn)
And a time to every purpose
Under Heaven

A time to be born, a time to die
A time to plant, a time to reap
A time to kill, a time to heal
A time to laugh, a time to weep..."
"Turn Turn Turn (There is a season)" by Pete Seeger

We are all part of a cycle as some are born some must die. As I was overjoyed by the birth of Liam, I am sad for the passing of my uncle Joseph and I guess that is the way it has always been.