On the drive back from Cleveland (We talk a lot during long drives). I asked Ahmie which of the Endless from Neil Gaiman's Sandman series did she think most personifies her.
She said incredulously, Death (Because I knew the answer before I asked her and she went to prom as death). She explains that because of her indominatable spirit and sense of joy with life and the world.
I asked her, "Which one most personifies me?"
She said Destruction, because he chooses not to fit into the predefined role for him. Which I think is valid. I don't fit the mold for the typical Chinese American man.
Although I thought Dream most personified me. She said that he is way too moopy.
So here is my open question to you (my readers) which of the endless most personify you and why?
Thursday, June 17, 2004
Wednesday, June 16, 2004
The Lost part 1
On our way back from Cleveland, Ahmie and I talked about our loves lost. This gave me an idea. I think I will make a missing friends section, and hope out of touch friends will see this and will get in touch.
The first person on this list is our friend Possum.
Possum
She really is more of Ahmie's friend, but both of us have grown very fond of her and miss her very much.
Ahmie got to know Possum during high school with her literature magazine. Possum did not finish high school, she dropped out. Eventually several years later she did get her GED, and started going to Art School. However Possum never seemed to be able to finish anything she started aside from the GED though (she is so intelligent the GED was no challenge). I don't want to go into too much detail because there is much that I think is too personal to delve into.
Have you ever had a friend that for some reason really loved and you can't really put a finger on it? Possum is the personification of that type of friend. She really is greater then the sum of all of her parts. Her eyes are so big and round, the curve of her nose, the shape of her lips, each individually may not be the most beautiful by it self but all together creates a very stunning face.
Much like her face and physical beauty, she is also a beautiful person in the inside also. Her internal beauty has a haunting sadness to it. I do not know anyone who has lived more than she has. She dropped out; she traveled across the country, been homeless, has seen the best in people, and suffered from the worst of people. She can spin a tale full of beauty about the life experiences. She sees the world differently from most people, she truly believes in the best of people. This despite experiencing the worst from some people. There is a wild innocence about her, as if she really is a fairy in the real world.
She in so many ways is like a fairy, but mainly the real world and her world never really fully fit. She has gone about her life getting into dangerous situations, overdosing on drugs, being homeless, being stranded in the middle of nowhere. She can tell such magical tales about her life and tragedies. However the stories that she spins are neither sad nor depressing, there always lays a sense of beauty amidst the bad. Her innocence / naiveté can be infuriating because she does not seem to learn from what had happened to her. She sadly repeats similar mistakes.
She reminds me of Delirium of the endless. Possum has the same feral innocence that she has. Possum, much like Delirium must have suffered some tragedy to make her that way. Unfortunately Possum also have a strange ability of attracting like minded people (people who take drugs) where ever she goes.
In the final analysis Ahmie and I failed to do what we had set out to do, which was to give Possum a clean break. We sacrificed some of our privacy to have her live with us. She did abide by our house rules. However by the end of our summer together she had returned to her old patterns.
Friendships are much like the seasons of the year; true friends never break apart but rather go through cycles; Fall and Winter of distance and silence, Spring of blossoming and renewal, and Summer of heat and passion. No matter the distance, true friends never drift clean apart. Like a well loved and read book, true friendship could be picked up at anytime and continued.
So for friends! Let's spin around for another round!
The first person on this list is our friend Possum.
Possum
She really is more of Ahmie's friend, but both of us have grown very fond of her and miss her very much.
Ahmie got to know Possum during high school with her literature magazine. Possum did not finish high school, she dropped out. Eventually several years later she did get her GED, and started going to Art School. However Possum never seemed to be able to finish anything she started aside from the GED though (she is so intelligent the GED was no challenge). I don't want to go into too much detail because there is much that I think is too personal to delve into.
Have you ever had a friend that for some reason really loved and you can't really put a finger on it? Possum is the personification of that type of friend. She really is greater then the sum of all of her parts. Her eyes are so big and round, the curve of her nose, the shape of her lips, each individually may not be the most beautiful by it self but all together creates a very stunning face.
Much like her face and physical beauty, she is also a beautiful person in the inside also. Her internal beauty has a haunting sadness to it. I do not know anyone who has lived more than she has. She dropped out; she traveled across the country, been homeless, has seen the best in people, and suffered from the worst of people. She can spin a tale full of beauty about the life experiences. She sees the world differently from most people, she truly believes in the best of people. This despite experiencing the worst from some people. There is a wild innocence about her, as if she really is a fairy in the real world.
In fact Ahmie and I tried to give her a chance to make a break from her old friends and surroundings. After a year of Art school in Pittsburgh, she dropped out much to the chagrin of her mother. Ahmie and I asked her to come live with us in Virginia. We laid some ground rules. Possum got a job right away.
Her current plan at the time was to become a Stylist and was planning to go to school in DC so she can work for Vidal Sassoon. Her immediate goal was to make enough money to purchase a car. She had a friend that promised to get her a VW bug for 800$. Once Possum made enough money she went back to Cleveland and gave to her friend the money. Not surprisingly, she did not get the aforementioned car.
Granted we had talked to her about this "deal." We tried our best to dissuade her from going through with this. But, she wanted to go through with it even though every bone of our bodies said she was going to get screwed.
She in so many ways is like a fairy, but mainly the real world and her world never really fully fit. She has gone about her life getting into dangerous situations, overdosing on drugs, being homeless, being stranded in the middle of nowhere. She can tell such magical tales about her life and tragedies. However the stories that she spins are neither sad nor depressing, there always lays a sense of beauty amidst the bad. Her innocence / naiveté can be infuriating because she does not seem to learn from what had happened to her. She sadly repeats similar mistakes.
She reminds me of Delirium of the endless. Possum has the same feral innocence that she has. Possum, much like Delirium must have suffered some tragedy to make her that way. Unfortunately Possum also have a strange ability of attracting like minded people (people who take drugs) where ever she goes.
When she was staying with us in Ashburn, she would often take long night walks. In fact I gave her one of my flashlights so she could be seen in the dark. For some reason she had gotten to meet some people through walking around at night and at work. These new friends were people who used drugs (mostly marijuana). Towards the end of the summer she had gone to live with these friends of hers. Eventually she returned to Cleveland, because she missed her friends in Cleveland.
In the final analysis Ahmie and I failed to do what we had set out to do, which was to give Possum a clean break. We sacrificed some of our privacy to have her live with us. She did abide by our house rules. However by the end of our summer together she had returned to her old patterns.
Friendships are much like the seasons of the year; true friends never break apart but rather go through cycles; Fall and Winter of distance and silence, Spring of blossoming and renewal, and Summer of heat and passion. No matter the distance, true friends never drift clean apart. Like a well loved and read book, true friendship could be picked up at anytime and continued.
So for friends! Let's spin around for another round!
Recap of Cleveland Trip
We finally left for Cleveland Thursday afternoon at about 5 pm; we got stuck in the Rout 15 traffic around Leesburg. Aside from Liam waking and screaming we stopped 3 times and we did not arrive at our mother in law's house until early Friday morning. Even with the early morning introduction I think Cindy (Ahmie's mom) instantly fell in love. We stayed awake talking for an hour or two more. I don't think I got to sleep until about 4-5 in the morning.
For this Cleveland trip we had 3 items in our itinerary.
1. Show Liam to family especially Cindy and Henry
2. Get a job
3. Get a place to live
4. Get a local phone
Friday
Friday started in a flurry of activity. I woke up and started calling school systems about open teacher positions. Most districts had finished hiring but I kept calling, I think I got two positions to follow up on.
Marvin (my younger brother) traveled from New York to see us in Cleveland. He originally intended to stay with us for a while but he got work as construction help from a long time friend. So his plan was to visit and leave Sunday morning. He arrived at the Greyhound Station at 2:30 in the afternoon. I was dropping off an application so Ahmie and I did not get to pick him up until about an hour later.
Greyhound stations tend be in parts of cities that have seen better days. On the same token many stations I have had the pleasure of stopping by also have seen better days, The Cleveland station was no exception. I walked in and my brother saw me and walked towards me. The first thing I noticed was his shorter hair, about 2-3 inches long and standing up, although hair styling products did not play a role in his hair. His hair reminded me of adult Gohan from Dragonball Z.
We walked into the light rain and stowed his bags into the trunk of the car. Marvin sat in the back seat and had a great view of Liam. Marvin marveled at how small Liam was. We drove around areas where we might want to live when we move back to Cleveland, mostly in the Old Brooklyn area (a working class area in Cleveland although all of Cleveland is working class neighborhoods).
We drove around for a while and got to see a bit of the Old Brooklyn area. We noticed some homes for rent. Including the "murder house", where a few weeks ago I think the exboyfriend stabbed to death the fiancé of the person who lived in the duplex.
Later that evening I looked online on cleveland.com to look for homes for rent.
Saturday
Saturday all of us groggily woke up and took our sweet time to get started. Ahmie started calling some of the properties that I and her mother highlighted. In fact we looked at one of the properties that day. A nice turn of the century Duplex, when I saw it I fell in love with it.
Later that afternoon we (Marvin, Ahmie, Liam and I) went to visit Ahmie's Father Henry. Ahmie's father remarried after divorcing Cindy when Ahmie was about two. Henry instantly fell in love with Liam much did Cindy and Marvin. He was wonderful and held him for a long time. Her half brother Matt was home and saw the baby but was not as interested. Henry's wife Carolyn saw the baby too but was not as enthused. However I think more of that was due to medical issues this week. We knew that Ahmie's Aunt, and Uncle and two of her cousins would barge in at any time, some how they knew we were visiting. Fortunately they were late and Henry had an opportunity to sit with Liam for a good half hour.
Sunday
We went to West Shore UU Church in the morning and Cindy drove Marvin to the bus station. I really thought Marvin had bonded with Liam, as little as he would like to admit it. Saturday night Marvin of his own volition went to Liam and looked at him and touched him. He also helped out alot when Liam was very fussy. He did more then I had expected him to do, which was wonderful.
We looked at one apartment in Old Brooklyn and later that evening I called several other classified ads.
Monday
We rested mostly on Monday. I started by following up the two teaching positions and another position.
Keep fingers crossed
Tuesday
This was by far the busiest day of the trip. Started the day with follow up phone calls to the school districts I sent letters to. Later Cindy and We went to Best Buy to set up a new cell phone account. It was great We got phones for all three of us and not only was it cheep but after the rebates we will get 200+ Dollars back over rebates that will make the phones free. Not to mention they will reimburse the first month's bill. That was great.
I dropped off my resume in North Olmstead; I hope something will come of all of my applications. We looked at several other properties. But we in the end choose the "murder house."
That house is great, granted the obvious problem. for 550$ a month we have a 2 bedroom 1 bath with kitchen, living room and a dining room, Most of the basement for storage with washer and drier, and a garage space. A good price for 1 unit in a duplex. We are close to the highway so it does not matter as much where I work. Well one major hurdle managed, we have a place to move to with space for all of Ahmie & My stuff.
Well 3 of 4 off the check list one to go.
For this Cleveland trip we had 3 items in our itinerary.
1. Show Liam to family especially Cindy and Henry
2. Get a job
3. Get a place to live
4. Get a local phone
Friday
Friday started in a flurry of activity. I woke up and started calling school systems about open teacher positions. Most districts had finished hiring but I kept calling, I think I got two positions to follow up on.
Marvin (my younger brother) traveled from New York to see us in Cleveland. He originally intended to stay with us for a while but he got work as construction help from a long time friend. So his plan was to visit and leave Sunday morning. He arrived at the Greyhound Station at 2:30 in the afternoon. I was dropping off an application so Ahmie and I did not get to pick him up until about an hour later.
Greyhound stations tend be in parts of cities that have seen better days. On the same token many stations I have had the pleasure of stopping by also have seen better days, The Cleveland station was no exception. I walked in and my brother saw me and walked towards me. The first thing I noticed was his shorter hair, about 2-3 inches long and standing up, although hair styling products did not play a role in his hair. His hair reminded me of adult Gohan from Dragonball Z.
We walked into the light rain and stowed his bags into the trunk of the car. Marvin sat in the back seat and had a great view of Liam. Marvin marveled at how small Liam was. We drove around areas where we might want to live when we move back to Cleveland, mostly in the Old Brooklyn area (a working class area in Cleveland although all of Cleveland is working class neighborhoods).
We drove around for a while and got to see a bit of the Old Brooklyn area. We noticed some homes for rent. Including the "murder house", where a few weeks ago I think the exboyfriend stabbed to death the fiancé of the person who lived in the duplex.
Later that evening I looked online on cleveland.com to look for homes for rent.
Saturday
Saturday all of us groggily woke up and took our sweet time to get started. Ahmie started calling some of the properties that I and her mother highlighted. In fact we looked at one of the properties that day. A nice turn of the century Duplex, when I saw it I fell in love with it.
Later that afternoon we (Marvin, Ahmie, Liam and I) went to visit Ahmie's Father Henry. Ahmie's father remarried after divorcing Cindy when Ahmie was about two. Henry instantly fell in love with Liam much did Cindy and Marvin. He was wonderful and held him for a long time. Her half brother Matt was home and saw the baby but was not as interested. Henry's wife Carolyn saw the baby too but was not as enthused. However I think more of that was due to medical issues this week. We knew that Ahmie's Aunt, and Uncle and two of her cousins would barge in at any time, some how they knew we were visiting. Fortunately they were late and Henry had an opportunity to sit with Liam for a good half hour.
Sunday
We went to West Shore UU Church in the morning and Cindy drove Marvin to the bus station. I really thought Marvin had bonded with Liam, as little as he would like to admit it. Saturday night Marvin of his own volition went to Liam and looked at him and touched him. He also helped out alot when Liam was very fussy. He did more then I had expected him to do, which was wonderful.
We looked at one apartment in Old Brooklyn and later that evening I called several other classified ads.
Monday
We rested mostly on Monday. I started by following up the two teaching positions and another position.
Keep fingers crossed
Tuesday
This was by far the busiest day of the trip. Started the day with follow up phone calls to the school districts I sent letters to. Later Cindy and We went to Best Buy to set up a new cell phone account. It was great We got phones for all three of us and not only was it cheep but after the rebates we will get 200+ Dollars back over rebates that will make the phones free. Not to mention they will reimburse the first month's bill. That was great.
I dropped off my resume in North Olmstead; I hope something will come of all of my applications. We looked at several other properties. But we in the end choose the "murder house."
That house is great, granted the obvious problem. for 550$ a month we have a 2 bedroom 1 bath with kitchen, living room and a dining room, Most of the basement for storage with washer and drier, and a garage space. A good price for 1 unit in a duplex. We are close to the highway so it does not matter as much where I work. Well one major hurdle managed, we have a place to move to with space for all of Ahmie & My stuff.
Well 3 of 4 off the check list one to go.
Thursday, June 10, 2004
Visit to Cleveland
Ahmie Liam and I will be going to Cleveland today and I will probably not update while I am out of town. However I will take some time to write everyday to record the memory.
So Wednesday night Ahmie called her Mom Cindy to arrange preparations for our visit. We will be staying at her apartment. Ahmie got to talking with her mom and her mom started to talk about concerns that her sister Janet has about our moving back.
People on Ahmie's mother side of the family have not said things to our faces of their concerns about us. They don't have the guts. If Janet had expressed her concerns about us moving back to Cleveland she would get a facefull of knuckle sandwich.
That is so insulting. Ahmie's maternal grandfather shared the same sentiments, at Christmas time, but we can excuse that because he is (well) old and have not had a good track record of being kind, thoughtful or insightful.
I have been working hard to get my teaching certification in Ohio. I have already spent hundreds of dollars getting testing to get my certification. I did well in all of them. I know my responsibility, because I have to provide for my family. Fortunately I will have some money to tide us through for a few months. But I plan to look for and get a teaching position right away. In fact I will call the school districts again and try to arrange for a walk thought or an interview.
God I am so mad. Although I can understand that her precious (ahem) talented son has been unemployed since mid April. He has not been interested in getting a job and is mooching off of her.
For all of this I say boo hoo. Kick his ass to the curb, because he is 22 and can fend for himself. Time to fly or die.
So Wednesday night Ahmie called her Mom Cindy to arrange preparations for our visit. We will be staying at her apartment. Ahmie got to talking with her mom and her mom started to talk about concerns that her sister Janet has about our moving back.
Janet was concerned that Ahmie, Liam and I will live in Cindy's apartment and mooch off of her and that neither of us will get jobs and so on and on.
People on Ahmie's mother side of the family have not said things to our faces of their concerns about us. They don't have the guts. If Janet had expressed her concerns about us moving back to Cleveland she would get a facefull of knuckle sandwich.
That is so insulting. Ahmie's maternal grandfather shared the same sentiments, at Christmas time, but we can excuse that because he is (well) old and have not had a good track record of being kind, thoughtful or insightful.
I have been working hard to get my teaching certification in Ohio. I have already spent hundreds of dollars getting testing to get my certification. I did well in all of them. I know my responsibility, because I have to provide for my family. Fortunately I will have some money to tide us through for a few months. But I plan to look for and get a teaching position right away. In fact I will call the school districts again and try to arrange for a walk thought or an interview.
God I am so mad. Although I can understand that her precious (ahem) talented son has been unemployed since mid April. He has not been interested in getting a job and is mooching off of her.
For all of this I say boo hoo. Kick his ass to the curb, because he is 22 and can fend for himself. Time to fly or die.
Liam Update
Well Liam is 2 weeks old as of yesterday. After the flurry of action during the first week of life, we are settling into life as parents, we are in the firsts stage of development with Liam. He is going through his first growth spurt right now. He is a hungry fellow, and feeds well and regularly.
We went to the Pediatrician yesterday for his two week check up and he had surpassed his birth weight by 5 ozs. He now weighs 8lbs 10ozs. His head is 14 and 1/4 inches. He is 22 inches long (I think this may be due to difference in measurement and not all actual growth. The Pediatrician thinks Liam is growing fine since he has regained his birth weight (and more) feeding and is filling his diaper well and often.
Speaking of diapers Ahmie and I are in the habit of praising his bodily movements. I think this will fade. Since we don't (interrupted to feed Liam some bottled breast milk) have to be super vigilant about Liam's inputs and outputs anymore because the doctor is not concerned about Liam's Jaundice. We can now enjoy this regular and mandatory requirement of early parenting.
We went to the Pediatrician yesterday for his two week check up and he had surpassed his birth weight by 5 ozs. He now weighs 8lbs 10ozs. His head is 14 and 1/4 inches. He is 22 inches long (I think this may be due to difference in measurement and not all actual growth. The Pediatrician thinks Liam is growing fine since he has regained his birth weight (and more) feeding and is filling his diaper well and often.
Speaking of diapers Ahmie and I are in the habit of praising his bodily movements. I think this will fade. Since we don't (interrupted to feed Liam some bottled breast milk) have to be super vigilant about Liam's inputs and outputs anymore because the doctor is not concerned about Liam's Jaundice. We can now enjoy this regular and mandatory requirement of early parenting.
Liam Update
Well Liam is 2 weeks old as of yesterday. After the flurry of action during the first week of life, we are settling into life as parents, we are in the firsts stage of development with Liam. He is going through his first growth spurt right now. He is a hungry fellow, and feeds well and regularily.
We went to the Pediaterician yesterday for his two week check up and he had surpassed his birth weight by 5 ozs. He now weighs 8lbs 10ozs. His head is 14 and 1/4 inches. He is 22 inches long (I think this may be due to difference in measurement and not all actual growth. The Pediaterician thinks Liam is growing fine since he has regained his birth weight (and more) feeding and is filling his diaper well and often.
Speakng of diapers Ahmie and I are in the habit of praising his bodily movements. I think this will fade. Since we don't (interrupted to feed Liam some bottled breast milk)have to be super vigilient about Liam's imputs and outputs anymore because the doctor is not concerned about Liam's Jaundice. We can now enjoy this regular and mandatory requiremnet of early parenting.
We went to the Pediaterician yesterday for his two week check up and he had surpassed his birth weight by 5 ozs. He now weighs 8lbs 10ozs. His head is 14 and 1/4 inches. He is 22 inches long (I think this may be due to difference in measurement and not all actual growth. The Pediaterician thinks Liam is growing fine since he has regained his birth weight (and more) feeding and is filling his diaper well and often.
Speakng of diapers Ahmie and I are in the habit of praising his bodily movements. I think this will fade. Since we don't (interrupted to feed Liam some bottled breast milk)have to be super vigilient about Liam's imputs and outputs anymore because the doctor is not concerned about Liam's Jaundice. We can now enjoy this regular and mandatory requiremnet of early parenting.
Wednesday, June 02, 2004
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